Moping about

[tenaya]

Yeah, that sums it up for today. Sniffling, reminiscing, listening for the click of his claws on the floor. I went through my photo files and put all the cat photos in their own folder to keep them safe (and backed up.)

I went to local fannish meeting to pick up a check from K to pay for what she ordered at MWC and to see if there was any news about a ill member of the group. I bought a Get Well card and had everyone sign it and felt anxious about her condition. I'm one of those people that gets an upset stomach if I'm stressed and it's been churning for days now (I've been dreading that vet visit all week.) I dread going to work tonight but maybe if I don't mention Reg I can keep from tearing up. I'll be in the NICU and it's a small closed unit so maybe it won't be so bad.

A florist came by today and delivered a large plant. It's from the vets and the card said it was from the staff and that they would all miss him. Reg was well known there. The plant was very nice of them.

Since I work tomorrow, I took Mom to her favorite restaurant, Hometown Buffet for Mother's Day, but even that was bittersweet. In the past, we'd take an empty zip lock bag and slip an assortment of meats in there to smuggle home for Reggie. He was a bit of a chow hound and whenever we were out shopping or whatnot, he'd demand to sniff the bags coming into the house to see if we'd brought him anything good. How do I love thee, let me count the ways: 1)I scratch your ears, 2) I rub your back, 3) I smuggle food out of restaurants for you just to see the delight in your eyes....

It seems self indulgent to wallow in my sadness. While this is a lj of a fan, but it is also my journal and if I felt it was important to me to record how this day went. It's not an excuse, just a statement.

Again, I want to thank all of you that attempted to comfort me with kind words of sympathy. They were all deeply appreciated. You are good folks. :)

Comments

[obelix]

*hugs*

Nothing wrong in reminiscing and feeling sad and what else is a lj for then to put down your thoughts?

*hugs*

[tenaya.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I guess I felt that no one wants to read a gloomy journal and felt conflicted about expressing myself and entertaining my flist. I'll make it up to the flist later.

How's your pamper pooch working out? You haven't mentioned him for a bit.

[obelix]

I've made a few gloomy entries myself so no biggie. Especially when it comes to something like that *hugs*

Pampered pooch is fine getting bigger and bigger and getting loads of attention wherever we go. Walking downtown or at the market with him is interesting, we get stopped every few steps by people wanting to pet him ;-) Slows down the shopping process quite a lot but it does making sitting at a patio having a coffee and croissant fun ;-)

[moonchildetoo.livejournal.com]

You need to 'wallow in it', to mourn. Reggie deserves it. Wheelz did. You hurt because you loved him very much, and it isn't easy to let go. I went through the same thing - going to McDonald's and *not* having to buy an extra hamburger for Wheelz. Eating my dinner and not having to keep his face out of the plate ;-) Nobody in the house any more who wants "goodies" and gets excited when I give them. It's really hard, for a long time. I sort of felt, when I would cry and cry after Wheelz was gone, that my pain was a measure of how much he was loved, and that I hoped he knew.

[aizjanika.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's self indulgent at all. We all grieve in our own way. I tend to want to write about things, too. It always helps.

[sheepsclothing.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. I just got home from my trip and thought I would check my LJ. So sad! But you made the right decision not to wake him up to say goodbye. That was very unselfish of you both.
I hope you put all those great photos you have into a nice album that you can pour over from time to time.
Willem says hi...he hasn't shut up since I walked in the door, I want to watch Blood Ties but I don't think I can hear the show over his nattering!
Thinking of you all this evening, and of Lily too.