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Thanksgiving is almost here. People talk about the holiday, commercials are full of turkeys. I'm actually not that fond of turkey but enjoy all the trimmings. For the last 14 years, we enjoyed doing the turkey thing because Reggie loved turkey. We'd start off by showing him the bird when it was out the wrapper. He'd get all excited and snif, snif, snif all of it. As the smell would start to waft out of the kitchen as it cooked, he'd come lay in on the kitchen floor and avidly watch the goings on, chirping frequently. After awhile, the waiting would be too much and he'd have to go out or lay down.

When the plates were divvied up, he was always served first and he would actually get a serving larger than any of the humans. Purring, he'd settle down with such enjoyment to his meal. Stuffed, he'd go pass out on one of the beds, only to surface for seconds about 4 hours later.

Well, there's no Reggie this year. I've been sad and thinking a lot about him of late. Monday morning I felt the bed shake like it would when he'd jump on it. Scooter was laying on the bed but he's so light, the bed doesn't actually react to him jumping on it so I thought, hmmm...maybe?

This morning I heard the nasalness of a kitty's heavy breathing while they are deep asleep. I looked over and Scooter was there, but he was breathing at much faster rate. I wondered whether Brindle had decided to sleep under the bed or something. I decided to read my book some before I got up. Mom came to the back of the house so I called her in to ask about where Brindle was. Turns out he was outside. She lay on the bed and I told her what I'd heard and we chatted about Reg and how wonderful he was. After a few minutes the heavy breathing started up again, and she heard it too.

So, I think he is still hanging around. It's been over six months now and I still feel devastated about not being there for him when he was euthanized. It seemed nearly unforgivable to fail him at that last moment of his life. I know; 14 years of loving devotion to him--could failing him in that one instance negate all the rest? I felt it did. And I felt he left this world feeling that, too. But now, to feel the bed shake, to hear the breathing of a deep asleep cat where there is none, I feel better.

I'm hoping the other two cats can get into the spirit of things on Thursday.
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Move along if you're not feeling reflective.

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May. 31st, 2007 07:35 pm
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I'm back and I had lots of fun.

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Yeah, that sums it up for today. Sniffling, reminiscing, listening for the click of his claws on the floor. I went through my photo files and put all the cat photos in their own folder to keep them safe (and backed up.)

I went to local fannish meeting to pick up a check from K to pay for what she ordered at MWC and to see if there was any news about a ill member of the group. I bought a Get Well card and had everyone sign it and felt anxious about her condition. I'm one of those people that gets an upset stomach if I'm stressed and it's been churning for days now (I've been dreading that vet visit all week.) I dread going to work tonight but maybe if I don't mention Reg I can keep from tearing up. I'll be in the NICU and it's a small closed unit so maybe it won't be so bad.

A florist came by today and delivered a large plant. It's from the vets and the card said it was from the staff and that they would all miss him. Reg was well known there. The plant was very nice of them.

Since I work tomorrow, I took Mom to her favorite restaurant, Hometown Buffet for Mother's Day, but even that was bittersweet. In the past, we'd take an empty zip lock bag and slip an assortment of meats in there to smuggle home for Reggie. He was a bit of a chow hound and whenever we were out shopping or whatnot, he'd demand to sniff the bags coming into the house to see if we'd brought him anything good. How do I love thee, let me count the ways: 1)I scratch your ears, 2) I rub your back, 3) I smuggle food out of restaurants for you just to see the delight in your eyes....

It seems self indulgent to wallow in my sadness. While this is a lj of a fan, but it is also my journal and if I felt it was important to me to record how this day went. It's not an excuse, just a statement.

Again, I want to thank all of you that attempted to comfort me with kind words of sympathy. They were all deeply appreciated. You are good folks. :)
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I took him to the vets this morning for his procedure and Dr. E called at 11am to say that he had a massive squamous cell tumor at the back of his mouth, so large she couldn't put the breathing tube down and she wondered that he could breathe at all. We discussed our options and basically there were none. She asked if we wanted to come down and let him wake up from the anesthesia so we could say goodbye but it seemed cruel to do that do him just to euthanize him immediately after. I had hugged him many times in this past week and as hard as it was, we gave permission to let him go right then. He will be cremated and returned to us next week.

As much as we were hoping it would just be an infected tooth or something, there were subtle changes in the past two days. I began to suspect he was feeling pain and he was to the point of giving up on eating. It did appear that he was having to position a piece of kibble exactly before he'd be able to swallow it and he'd get frustrated after about two pieces and walk away. So, it was time. I would have preferred to be there and to hold him because he so completely trusted us and it feels like a betrayal to have left him there with strangers for his last few hours on earth but we were hoping for a miracle, hoping he'd be given back to us again for a little while longer. We are thankful that he went painlessly and did not smother which would have been his fate in the next few days.

We are grateful that he graced our lives for 14 and half years and taught us so much about love, trust and kitty/human communication. His non-stop purring was a marvel for you could truly hear him in a neighboring room. The last five years in particular were a gift because he never should have survived that fungus infection.

He was a sweet, gentle soul who loved us unconditionally and we ache with his loss.

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Reggie has a problem.

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This one is because *some* people have a hard time believing that Reggie has lost weight!
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We're back from Las Vegas. We had a wonderful time and Bunny took great care of us. On Saturday, we went to the Orleans Casino to see CF. I'm pleased to say during the hour he was on stage, he pretty much kept to the standard of jokes he uses on the Late Show. We laughed and laughed and had a great time.
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Well, it's cooling down a bit and I need to go do some yard work. :::sigh::: But it's all a part of my master plan of being on a diet and getting more exercise before MediaWestCon.
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First off, this is a cute vid snippet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsDvmQROMHQ&NR=1
It's Sea Lion Irish Dance Contest.

And you did go look at the vid that had the dog weightless in the airplane?

Brindle is back in the washroom sink. Perky and alert, we see his curious orange eyes enticing us to come visit him each time we walk by. He has the squeeky purr thing goin on. :)

Reg had a glucose curve done yesterday at the vets. He came back with the scent of rather expensive perfume in his fur, and the young tech that brought him out gushed over what a sweet cat he is. Don't we know it. Apparently his blood sugar is still on the high side so now we will give him 2 units of insulin in the morning and just the one unit at night, and recheck him in a couple of weeks. What we see is a cat that is grooming himself again and he's more active. He's snoring louder though. Odd.

On the news, Sunshine Mills is recalling dog biscuits for the melamine poisoning. They sell under their own name and under Walmart and Kmart brands. And Menu foods is pushing back their recall to products canned in Novemeber of 2006.
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I'm doing all my catch up stuff-- the boring stuff that will cause trouble if not attended to.

Second, here is that video that Craig Ferguson likes to play. It's very funny.

Third, con report will be later, after boring stuff is done. Good con, though. I had a great time. Mostly. *g*

Forth, Reg is taking his insulin shots like the champ that he is. And since I've been gone a week, I can see a big difference in him. Gone is the cat that sleep too much, and obviously felt very vulnerable. Now he struts outside, all alert and inquisitive. And he really doesn't care about the shots; he seems to be overjoyed that it's not a pill we want to give him (he had to take fluconazole daily for nearly 2 years (well, the first four months was thru the feeding tube.) He just purrs like crazy. We show him the syringe so he knows what's coming and he nuzzles it. What a sweetie!
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Okay, I bounced to Yosemite last week, bounced home. Today, I'm bouncing up to Vancouver for a week for a Stargate con. Now, I KNOW I'm gonna get some cold and rain up there! (We've skipped winter here in Southern California this year, so I can get excited about wet stuff falling from the sky.)

On the home front, we took Sweet Reg to the vets when we got home from Yosemite for subtle things don't seem quite right (you know, the hospital biz we actually have a diagnosis of a FLK, or Funny Looking Kid. You know something's off, but you just can't figure out what it is as yet.)

ANYWAY, Sweet Reg IS sweet. Too sweet. He's diabetic now. His blood sugar was 434 (should be under 170.) Yesterday, he had a glucose curve done and now Reg gets 1 unit of insulin twice a day. And now, he is much more lively, demanding, purry, loving. Poor thing must have been feeling quite icky.

Lastly, because I can't miss stuff, I sort of watched the last ep of SG1 last night. Since my friends are all big Daniel fans (me, too) I felt I needed to know what the D/V stuff was like, so I ff just to those scenes. *g* Yeah, yeah, I'm a horrible fan! But I can live with this compromise.

Okay, okay! The dryer went off! And I need to pack and leave in an hour!

See you next week!


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