Ghostly breathing

[tenaya]

Thanksgiving is almost here. People talk about the holiday, commercials are full of turkeys. I'm actually not that fond of turkey but enjoy all the trimmings. For the last 14 years, we enjoyed doing the turkey thing because Reggie loved turkey. We'd start off by showing him the bird when it was out the wrapper. He'd get all excited and snif, snif, snif all of it. As the smell would start to waft out of the kitchen as it cooked, he'd come lay in on the kitchen floor and avidly watch the goings on, chirping frequently. After awhile, the waiting would be too much and he'd have to go out or lay down.

When the plates were divvied up, he was always served first and he would actually get a serving larger than any of the humans. Purring, he'd settle down with such enjoyment to his meal. Stuffed, he'd go pass out on one of the beds, only to surface for seconds about 4 hours later.

Well, there's no Reggie this year. I've been sad and thinking a lot about him of late. Monday morning I felt the bed shake like it would when he'd jump on it. Scooter was laying on the bed but he's so light, the bed doesn't actually react to him jumping on it so I thought, hmmm...maybe?

This morning I heard the nasalness of a kitty's heavy breathing while they are deep asleep. I looked over and Scooter was there, but he was breathing at much faster rate. I wondered whether Brindle had decided to sleep under the bed or something. I decided to read my book some before I got up. Mom came to the back of the house so I called her in to ask about where Brindle was. Turns out he was outside. She lay on the bed and I told her what I'd heard and we chatted about Reg and how wonderful he was. After a few minutes the heavy breathing started up again, and she heard it too.

So, I think he is still hanging around. It's been over six months now and I still feel devastated about not being there for him when he was euthanized. It seemed nearly unforgivable to fail him at that last moment of his life. I know; 14 years of loving devotion to him--could failing him in that one instance negate all the rest? I felt it did. And I felt he left this world feeling that, too. But now, to feel the bed shake, to hear the breathing of a deep asleep cat where there is none, I feel better.

I'm hoping the other two cats can get into the spirit of things on Thursday.

Comments

[obelix]

*hugs*

I still feel like all my babies are still around sometimes just out of the corner of my eyes so yeah I think they come and visit at special times.

[tenaya.livejournal.com]

It's comforting. Love never dies, eh?

{{{hugs}}}

[littleheaven70.livejournal.com]

One of my beloved pet rats, Wilma, died in my hands one night. I'd been trying to give her medication and mixed it with sticky nutrigel (something I did often), and she appeared to choke on it and died very quickly. I was devastated, thinking I'd killed her. Later, I learned that she'd had a cardiac arrest, but I still feel guilt even now. About a month after her death, I saw her scuttle across the floor of the room the rat cage was in. For a second I thought I had an escapee, and counted the rats in the cage twice. Everyone was accounted for. It wasn't until then I realised that the rat I'd seen was a dark brown hooded, and the only one I'd ever had with that colouring was Wilma. I only saw her once, but it was nice to know she was around.

Also, the day after my budgie Linus died, I suddenly smelled his feathers very strongly, like he was sitting on my shoulder. Just for a moment, and then it was gone. I think he came to say goodbye.

I firmly believe pets hang around just as some humans do.

[tenaya.livejournal.com]

That is so touching that Wilma was still running about. Was she ever allowed freedom outside the cage? I wonder if that was something she always wanted to do.

I've never seen anything pet related, but I've heard their collars jingle, felt them lean against my leg, smelled the scent of their fur--for that one it was like you said, just for a moment and then it was gone. I, too, thought they were goodbyes; I've never had any of them be around more than a day or so. And with Reg, it mattered more to me that he did come back because of my issues.

I've only had cats and dogs as pets. I've always wondered what sort of bond people and birds or rats made. It's good to know it's just as deep. :) Thanks.

[littleheaven70.livejournal.com]

Yes, all the rats were allowed out every evening, and while I cleaned their cage on Sunday afternoons. She didn't run around as much as the others, since she was older and lazier :o)

I had very strong bonds with two of my birds (the ones who talked and loved to cuddle me) and all my rats. Rats are like tiny little dogs. Very, very bright, fantastic personalities, love to be cuddled, very licky. I had to give up keeping them because their short life span meant I was forever in mourning :o(

I am sure Reg doesn't hold a grudge that you weren't there when he passed.

[deej1957.livejournal.com]

Oh, sue. <<>> Yes, Reg is there with you, I firmly believe that. Just wait till you start cooking the turkey!

[tenaya.livejournal.com]

Good point. I'll have to pay attention to where he'd be when the scent of cooking bird fills the house. I can tell I'm gonna have to set out his own plate.

[leviathanmuse.livejournal.com]

I know exactly what you mean. Every once in a while I feel Oolong settle on me (he used to sleep on my side) or thud on the bed (being as big a kitty as he was).

And I'm not a huge fan of turkey myself. However, roomie loves it, so I cook it for Turkey Day.

[tenaya.livejournal.com]

Is roomie human or four-footed?

That would be really nice to feel the presence of a little buddy. I'll take the breathing, but I would love to feel his big weighty presence again, and smelling his fur again. :)

[leviathanmuse.livejournal.com]

Roomie is human.

Oolong, at his biggest, was 20lbs. Usually I didn't have a problem with it, except the one time he tried to get on my side while I had a kidney stone. Not fun.

[tenaya.livejournal.com]

Yeow. Reggie got up to 18 at one point. That's a lot of cat. 20! All on your side! Yikes. Did he ever do that little thing where they stand with two of their feet on your shins? And somehow double the gravity at the same time?

[leviathanmuse.livejournal.com]

No, he'd just get right up on my side. Or he'd get behind my knees and lay his gut up around my calves to keep warm. Heat vampire. I project a lot of heat, so he was a happy cat.

[moonchildetoo.livejournal.com]

I wanted to say something profound, but I can't get past the lump in my throat when I think of Wheelz. I'm glad Reggie came back for you, and I hope he enjoys his spiritual turkey.

Hugs.

[tenaya.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It is hard to move on when your companion is so special.

Hugs.

[khek.livejournal.com]

The first year after Jessie died, I felt her nearby a lot. It's been three years now, and I don't feel her around as much. Still, every once in awhile, I think she's there. A couple of weeks ago, I said one of Jessie's trick prompts to Maggie, and she did the trick. She'd never done it before, and she hasn't done it since. I'd been thinking of Jessie earlier in the day.

It's weird, but I do feel like love keeps that connection going. I guess eventually, we'll all find out.

[tenaya.livejournal.com]

Too true. We will know one day.

That's pretty strange that Maggie did that trick. They didn't overlap at all did they?

People use the term unconditional love to refer to what dogs can feel towards humans. It's always implied that our love to them is conditional. You know, sometimes it's not.

[feltedhare.livejournal.com]

Oh turky day, remember Hoppy and how he loved his turkey too? I know deep down in my heart that Reg is there, as sure as I know that Kerr is here and every time Bob sits on the couch she touches his hand. I still feel her on the bed too and I miss her so much that if I stop to think about it I'm afraid of what that pain would doo. So I just don't go there. I understand and I think by having turkey you honor him
hugs

[tenaya.livejournal.com]

I swear I can't hear the word "turkey" without thinking of Hoppy laying asleep in a pool of drool. *g*

Kerr still touches Bob's hand? It's been over two years now, hasn't it?

I can't think of Reg without fighting back the tears even now. As you yourself knows, it still hurts. Some wounds seem incapable of healing.

{{{{Hugs}}}}