No good dead goes unpunished.

[tenaya]

Home life and work drama ensues...

A couple of years ago, we helped out a struggling neighbor with extra food. To make a very long story short, J has fallen on even harder times and has been living with family and friends for a while. He came to us on Monday, with no money and asked to camp in our backyard. He actually has a job, one that he has had for years, working at a halfway house for developmentally challenged adults, and gets paid on Friday. He has the sweetest dog, Carly, who is shepard sized but doesn't bark and is very friendly and well mannered. It has been difficult for him to find a place that will allow dogs.

I told him the backyard wasn't an option as we have a hostile neighbor, not to mention the massive amount of wildlife that come through here, so we settled on the garage. He works 2pm to 10pm, I work nights. He comes in and gets ready for work right in the middle of my 'night' which wouldn't be so bad except my room is next to the bathroom. What is it with men that they have to put the faucet on max and leave it running for 10 minutes? That's complicated by a leaky sink that we've a bucket beneath (the whole bathroom needs major remodeling but that isn't cheap, so we keep putting it off. There's termite damage in the subflooring that needs to be replaced and it just sounds like a long involved and expensive task that we keep avoiding.) Anyway, he runs the water so much the bucket overflows. Everytime he uses the toilet, it overflows when the next person uses it. He's a vegetarian, apparently, which might account for his wan appearance, but I know when he was our neighbor I'd see him high on occasion. It's hard not to wonder if drugs hasn't been the cause of his continuing misfortune. He also smokes. Not being a part of those subcultures, I find it odd that a vegetarian smokes and takes drugs.

Reggie hates dogs. He was out on the porch when J came back from walking the dog, apparently was frozen under mom's chair until he saw his opportunity then rocketed out of there and hid under a bush for the rest of the day. The dog was raised with cats and is very friendly, but Reg saw his kitty father figure killed by a coyote. He *really* hates dogs. Brindle has to be coaxed to come in now and can be seen to stare accusingly at us from the corner of the yard, like he's been abandoned yet again (this is the cat with rejection issues that goes to instant anger when things don't go his way. Needless to say, his behavior has regressed.) Scooter is partially blind and sees danger everywhere anyway, so one more threat is nothing new to him. The raccoon family was just by; they are nervous and keep standing upright to sniff the air.

So, on one hand, it's compassionate to help out a person in need so I feel like doing more to help out J, but on the other hand I don't want it to be too comfortable for him because I don't want him to stay. I've looked in the PennySaver for rooms for rent, and online we found Roommates.com. J doesn't seemed thrilled that we are trying to help find him a place to live. This is giving me a headache.

Work was intense the last three days trying to save the life of a critical ill newborn who is destined to die. The parents are super nice and have been trying to have a child for years. They have to agree/make the decision to stop the heroic measures to let their daughter die, and emotionally they can't do that yet, even though it destroys them to see what their daughter is going through. They both are trying to be brave but everyone is in tears each time they visit. This is why I prefer to have death stories labeled; I don't need the emotional rush of sudden death in my entertainment.

I've got three more days off and I'm planning on working at clearing some of the clutter in the house. It should be more productive than staying in bed and hoping it all goes away.


So, if anyone can reccommend a good source to find a roommate or lodgings for a man with a dog, PLEASE give me the URL. Thanks!

Comments

[catalenamara.livejournal.com]

Hugs - you have a *lot* going on now. My advice is to get this guy out ASAP, as I think it's going to be nothing from hassles from here on, particularly if you suspect drug use. Plus, it'll save you and your pets a lot of emotional stress.

BTW, I've known several vegetarians who smoked and took drugs. They were the "don't kill animals" school, not necessarily "I'm doing this for my health" school, i.e., their only concern was making sure animals weren't hurt, and tobacco and drugs aren't animal products.

I'm afraid I don't have any practical advice on getting him a place to live. People have to be practically destitute to qualify for assisted housing. I've been beating my head against the wall in working my way a snarl of bureaucracy for a friend of mine. His wife, who I'd known for 18 years, passed away in August. He has major health problems, and no income, and due to a variety of reasons (California driver's license had lapsed, since he hadn't been able to drive in ages; he hadn't gotten a Cal ID card, he didn't have a copy of his birth certificate, so that had to be sent for from out of state) he hasn't been able to qualify for disability yet.

I was trying to find him something like "meals on wheels" and transportation assistance, and I kept running into stone walls. He's either too young or not disabled *enough* to qualify for most programs.

The one thing I wasn't researching was housing. Good luck on tracking down information. Maybe there is some sort of charitable organization in your area for the homeless?

Good luck!

[tenaya.livejournal.com]

*Why* does the simpliest thing have to be buried under a ton of mindless paperwork?? I despair when I think of all the time and effort our society puts into filling out paper work? Unbelieveble.

Thanks for the advice. I guess we need to set limits about length of stay and such. :::sigh:::

[moonchildetoo.livejournal.com]

Ooof, that's a toughie. I echo catalenamara, major {HUGS}. I also echo it's not a good idea for him to stay very long, just because it's easier for him to do so, and easier for him to not make the effort, but it's definitely not easier for you and your human & furry family. He will get entirely too comfortable too quickly, and the longer he's there, the harder it'll be for you to get him to leave, and the worse/more guilty you'll feel when you do. And then there's the fact that, as you say, he's not thrilled that you're trying to find him somewhere else to live.

I wish you luck, and hope it works out okay for both you and him.