The prediction comes true.
Dec. 15th, 2004 05:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tenayaTears are indeed shed as multiple attempts to manipulate my emotions are tried. No nonsense notice that he will be out on Sunday is given.
GG finally emerged from the garage at about 10:45am. He was standing in the courtyard smoking and swaying, so I went out to talk to him. He said he'd just woken up, but to tell you the truth, I think he looked like he was coming off of some type of high.
I started off by saying it looked like he isn't planning to move today. He gave a theatrical sigh and said he'd talked to Basement landlord guy and he wants first and last months rent when he moves in. This is a total of $700. I pointed out he'd been living here for 1 month rent free with the knowledge he'd need rent money to move out, so how much did he have saved? He said maybe $200 and then he shrugged and said he's not good with math (which is something he says a lot. I think it's just an excuse for his lack of impulse control.)
To save you from a blow by blow, let me sum up. I told him he will have to move out on Sunday. I will help him move whatever to his storage unit and then if he can't move into the basement until Monday, I'll get him a motel room for the night. He has to be out on Sunday, totally. The reason I gave was that I work on Monday (but I actually forgot my schedule and I do have Monday off, but the real reason is that on his last payday, he disappeared for most of the day to go get his check cashed with a friend. I want to set it up that he will have no choice but to cash his check and go to the Basement and pay the landlord in order to have a place to sleep that night. I think if we gave him to Monday, he'd just disappear and have no money that night.
He didn't like this. He said that in his fantasy, we would think he was such a quiet and nice guy that we would ask him to stay on and invite him into the house. I told him that was not going to happen. He persisted in saying how much like home this felt like and he didn't want to go to the basement because he doesn't know those people. I told him I knew he was nostalgic for a family situation but he needed to make his own *real* family if that was important to him and that he was just treading water here. He went on at length about how he was hoping he could stay here (lots of details about why this was a good thing.) I said he was taking advantage of us, and especially of mom, and pointed out how his presence is disruptive no matter how nice or quiet he's been.
He played the "I need to stay here to save money to have my dog's tooth fixed" --that it hurt him to see her in pain. Carly was bouncing all over the yard at this point, so that really didn't work. I pointed out that I thought Reg currently had a bad tooth but since it wasn't bothering him too much, I wasn't going to do anything just yet. And that when Reg's health care went into the thousands (yes, that's right) I did without for a very long time.
He went back to saying how much he feels like home here and how his fantasy was that we'd ask him to stay. He was real persistent with that, and I was just as persistent in saying it was NOT going to happen. He started to cry. I said I was sorry but his attachment was only going to get deeper the longer he stayed and he needed to be out on Sunday. Then I told him I was going in so he could get himself together and I'd make him a sandwich when he came in for his bath. He sat out there and smoked a few more cigs, then took Carly for a walk. After his bath, he said he was too upset to eat. He left for work on time, but I think I heard him shout at Carly, and when he put on his backpack, his movements were harsh and sharp. And as he left, I heard him say "I'm sorry...." (couldn't catch it though the closed windows) but unless he was talking through the garage door at Carly, he may have been talking to people that weren't there. Yeah, that was a real "oh shit!" moment.
Mom said he told her that part of his money went to refill his prescription and his boss was picking it up for him. He told me it was high blood pressure meds, but honestly, he isn't the type for that affliction (plus when mom asked him which one he was on, he just changed the subject.) I'm now thinking it may be psych drugs and he avoids saying that by calling it something else.
I work on Saturday night but I think I might have to call off so I can be awake and alert for Sunday.
When I was out and about today, I stopped by the Cingular store to inquire about those $40 refills for his cellphone he buys. It buys him 400 minutes, prepaid. He needs to buy another one now; the last time he bought one was about 5 days ago. He probably spends $200/month on the cell phone and god knows what for smokes.
Mom offered to pay half of what he needs to move into the new place. He declined, but mom was of the opinion that he just doesn't want to spend any money to move out of here. I'm sure we will end up donating some money somewhere to get him out (and call it cheap at any price) but I want to get the money to the basement landlord directly.
And as soon as he is out, we're putting locks on all the gates and keeping the garage locked. The whole thing has become very uncomfortable and creepy. And as I told Mom, I have no problem being The Bitch during all this.
Home Team: 10
Visitor: 2
GG finally emerged from the garage at about 10:45am. He was standing in the courtyard smoking and swaying, so I went out to talk to him. He said he'd just woken up, but to tell you the truth, I think he looked like he was coming off of some type of high.
I started off by saying it looked like he isn't planning to move today. He gave a theatrical sigh and said he'd talked to Basement landlord guy and he wants first and last months rent when he moves in. This is a total of $700. I pointed out he'd been living here for 1 month rent free with the knowledge he'd need rent money to move out, so how much did he have saved? He said maybe $200 and then he shrugged and said he's not good with math (which is something he says a lot. I think it's just an excuse for his lack of impulse control.)
To save you from a blow by blow, let me sum up. I told him he will have to move out on Sunday. I will help him move whatever to his storage unit and then if he can't move into the basement until Monday, I'll get him a motel room for the night. He has to be out on Sunday, totally. The reason I gave was that I work on Monday (but I actually forgot my schedule and I do have Monday off, but the real reason is that on his last payday, he disappeared for most of the day to go get his check cashed with a friend. I want to set it up that he will have no choice but to cash his check and go to the Basement and pay the landlord in order to have a place to sleep that night. I think if we gave him to Monday, he'd just disappear and have no money that night.
He didn't like this. He said that in his fantasy, we would think he was such a quiet and nice guy that we would ask him to stay on and invite him into the house. I told him that was not going to happen. He persisted in saying how much like home this felt like and he didn't want to go to the basement because he doesn't know those people. I told him I knew he was nostalgic for a family situation but he needed to make his own *real* family if that was important to him and that he was just treading water here. He went on at length about how he was hoping he could stay here (lots of details about why this was a good thing.) I said he was taking advantage of us, and especially of mom, and pointed out how his presence is disruptive no matter how nice or quiet he's been.
He played the "I need to stay here to save money to have my dog's tooth fixed" --that it hurt him to see her in pain. Carly was bouncing all over the yard at this point, so that really didn't work. I pointed out that I thought Reg currently had a bad tooth but since it wasn't bothering him too much, I wasn't going to do anything just yet. And that when Reg's health care went into the thousands (yes, that's right) I did without for a very long time.
He went back to saying how much he feels like home here and how his fantasy was that we'd ask him to stay. He was real persistent with that, and I was just as persistent in saying it was NOT going to happen. He started to cry. I said I was sorry but his attachment was only going to get deeper the longer he stayed and he needed to be out on Sunday. Then I told him I was going in so he could get himself together and I'd make him a sandwich when he came in for his bath. He sat out there and smoked a few more cigs, then took Carly for a walk. After his bath, he said he was too upset to eat. He left for work on time, but I think I heard him shout at Carly, and when he put on his backpack, his movements were harsh and sharp. And as he left, I heard him say "I'm sorry...." (couldn't catch it though the closed windows) but unless he was talking through the garage door at Carly, he may have been talking to people that weren't there. Yeah, that was a real "oh shit!" moment.
Mom said he told her that part of his money went to refill his prescription and his boss was picking it up for him. He told me it was high blood pressure meds, but honestly, he isn't the type for that affliction (plus when mom asked him which one he was on, he just changed the subject.) I'm now thinking it may be psych drugs and he avoids saying that by calling it something else.
I work on Saturday night but I think I might have to call off so I can be awake and alert for Sunday.
When I was out and about today, I stopped by the Cingular store to inquire about those $40 refills for his cellphone he buys. It buys him 400 minutes, prepaid. He needs to buy another one now; the last time he bought one was about 5 days ago. He probably spends $200/month on the cell phone and god knows what for smokes.
Mom offered to pay half of what he needs to move into the new place. He declined, but mom was of the opinion that he just doesn't want to spend any money to move out of here. I'm sure we will end up donating some money somewhere to get him out (and call it cheap at any price) but I want to get the money to the basement landlord directly.
And as soon as he is out, we're putting locks on all the gates and keeping the garage locked. The whole thing has become very uncomfortable and creepy. And as I told Mom, I have no problem being The Bitch during all this.
Home Team: 10
Visitor: 2
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-16 04:00 am (UTC)Hope things work out relatively smoothly {HUG}.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-16 06:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-17 05:56 am (UTC)I was wondering what our rights were in this, and under what conditions a cop should be called to witness whatever. I *think* he'll go peacefully as he mentions all the other places he has stayed in the last 18 months, but then I've only heard it from his mouth. I'd love to chat with his aunt, or his boss.
Apparently he was no trouble this morning when he came in. He talked about looking forward to watching what he wanted on his own TV set, so maybe his attitude is looking forward? No, I'm not betting anything on that one, either. Mom felt he was still trying a few tentative angles at sweet talking her.
Thank you for being supportive. :->
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-17 06:03 am (UTC)I'll ask Mom again how she feels about it, since she is home 24/7 unless we go somewhere together.
Thank you for being concerned.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-18 02:37 am (UTC)I would think that, in the unlikely event that when you say "it's time to leave now" on Sunday, he balks - well, the next time he leaves the house for any reason, you just lock him out and put his stuff in the driveway. He does seem to go out fairly frequently, so you could just wait until he goes and lock everything up and put his stuff out. He has no "rights". Sad that it might come to that, though. Sad for you and your mom, I mean, that he's taken advantage of your emotions as much as he has already. Sigh..